Friday, April 24, 2009

Ah Motherhood what to do?

So I was so excited today to take my oldest on his school field trip to the farm, I was driving and he had been looking forward to it for a week. Well, this am my youngest woke up with a runny nose, watery eyes and a not so lovely demeanor:) As I rushed around and packed last minute lunches it became apparent that I was swimming upstream, the current was speaking to me as I began to become impatient, anxious and lose my cool. I threw a comb at the window and must have screamed at Dominic to get in the car 5 times (although I wasn't yet ready and he knew that)
I wrestled with what to do as I drove the boys to French School, in my rear view mirror I could see my youngest with his big read watery eyes and red nose. Ahh I arrived and La Maitresse was already waiting to put two other kids in my car, she took one look at Nico and said "Qu'est-ce que tu fait? or What do you want to do?" I really didn't know...Dom was so looking forward to me going to the farm and I felt my mommy heart start to tear. All the cool moms we going too, I really wanted to hang out (I could hear my ego screaming)

Alas, I hugged Dominic good by and told Nico he would be spending a fun day with mama at home. We went and got hot tea and threw pennies in the fountain, we have been laying on my bed playing Candy Land and Connect Four.

I just gave him a long bath and he looked up at me with those beautiful green watery red eyes and said "Mama you are my best friend.."

I just called school and Dominic had an a amazing time with his friends, he asked if he could stay longer today....

As my big one needs me less and my little one needs me even more, I suppose I should listen to the universe whisper and realize the right choice is already made waiting for me, I just need to allow myself to move towards it

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